Good health is about more than the physical. It is as equally important to train your mind as it is to train your body. But it is also important to know that you are not your body. Your body is simply the vessel to carry your spirit. Your character is who you are. Your essence is what they remember.
You are not powerless to your body. You have the power to mold and form it. But there are certain things you will never be able to fix through a healthy diet and exercise. You will never exercise those stretch marks away. You will never make the loose skin disappear. But it’s ok! Those things may be part of your armor now but they don’t make you less beautiful.
As women we receive a lot of subliminal messaging that our value and worth is based on our physical appearance. You can be educated, well-spoken, and dignified but in the end you also have to be “pretty enough”.
We’re told “strong is the new sexy”. Because it’s ok to want to be strong, but you must also want to be sexy.
“Obsessed is the word the lazy use to describe the dedicated”. Because if you’re not obsessed with your body, as society tells us we should be, you are lazy. What worth is it pursing other goals, when our primary focus should always be our bodies?
“Unless you puke, faint or die; keeping going”. Yeah, because that’s a healthy and balanced approach to take.
“Crawling is acceptable, falling is acceptable, puking is acceptable, crying is acceptable, pain is acceptable, blood is acceptable; Quitting is not acceptable.” Neither is looking fat in a bikini. At ALL costs you must look hot.
No wonder when pregnancy causes a dramatic change in our bodies most women’s confidence takes a huge hit. The thing by which we are meant to define our worth is suddenly not what we had, what we were used to or what we are told is beautiful. With a changed body our value diminishes. But then as much as women are told they are their bodies, mothers are told they must come last. So it’s important to work towards that “hot body” but you mustn’t do it at the expense of time spent with your children, time being a homemaker, or time being a stepford wife. Mothers are sent contradictory messages. Those mother’s that do choose to take time out for themselves are labelled as bad moms, as selfish, as vain. No wonder so many women feel hopeless.
You are not your body, and I want you to stop defining yourself by your body. Do you know why lions are kept behind cages at zoos? Because they are powerful. You are a lioness. You are powerful, and the world fears a powerful woman. A powerful woman is fierce, she’s unstoppable. We grow humans, we have life come forth from our bodies, we can bleed for days without dying, we wear painful shoes and make them look beautiful. We are intuitive, we are nurturing, we are smart. As Betty White so gracefully put it, “why do people say, “Grow some balls?” Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna get tough grow a vagina. Those things take a pounding!”
One of the hardest things I struggled with during postpartum depression was feeling powerless. I felt powerless to my situation, to my emotions and to my body. I felt powerless but I was never actually powerless. You are not powerless, but part of discovering your power is believing you have it. Believe that the messaging is wrong. Your value and your worth is not based on your looks. You have intrinsic worth. That funny, creative, thoughtful, smart woman is still there. She’s still there whether you weigh 124 pounds or 285 pounds. She’s still there among the stretch marks, the loose skin, the diastasis recti, the c-section scar; she’s still there. And she’s still beautiful.
You can lose the weight and you have improve the diastasis recti but you have to love yourself through this journey, even when the messaging says you shouldn’t. Society may have caged women but we hold the keys to those cages! The illusion is that you don’t have power when you actually do. You have to believe that you are already enough, just as you are. The importance of exercise isn’t making you better. It’s to make your body healthy. That’s why it’s important for all people, not just some people, to exercise. Everybody needs to be healthy if they want to live their life to its fullest.
Beauty is based on the value which we place on ourselves. If you believe that you are valuable, you will demand to be treated as though you have value. If you see your beauty you radiate it out to others. When you know your worth you refuse to have it questioned. When you don’t know your worth you let other people decide for you. You let them define you. You carry yourself as that which is worthless, you treat yourself as that which is worthless, and you give other people permission to do the same. You are not worthless.Your first step to a healthier life is believing that is true.